‘Passive-Aggressive’ comes easy *1
A psychological bridge to be crossed
With feelings that hurt
Wind up my skirt
Knocked off my throne as a boss
The action employed is just silence *2
In large part, taken off air
Until time passes by,
And I understand why
At long last really don’t care *3
Debris we collect through experience
Reaction of being not right
Then faced once again
By stranger or friend
Provoked into wanting to fight *4
The time, though time is illusion
It takes to shake oneself free
Surrounded by the silence of gold *5
Helps to take the computer off mean*6
Deleting the psychological reaction
By observing emotional junk
Releases a pattern called karma
The crap we store in our trunk
Ended at 10:44 AM
Footnotes of 9/24/20
*1 It probably be better stated if worded: Passive Aggression. However,
regardless when I refer to myself as ‘passive-aggressive’ I don’t think it
means the same as what the actual meaning is (although I think Robert might
disagree, and did).
Because of my nature I think I take note of stuff that bothers me without
reacting. In that respect it’s like collecting ‘evidence’ of what does not
work for me. Sometimes, in some instances it’s hard to confront some
things. That’s coming from my philosophical self. Because I have a
back-log of accepted perceptions, when it’s obvious ‘the other’ has no way
of hearing what I see, I give up, usually just walk away.
That does not make me right, but just as they have their position, I honor
mine. It’s then that the independent sovereign aspect becomes dominant.
So, in referring to the second half of that: ‘aggressive’ it just means
I’ve collected enough evidence to see something, perhaps a relationship is
not viable and I walk away.
In my reference to Robert being out of agreement with that, during the
second episode when he said that allowing an old picture to represent me in
this current time frame was a lie, he said I aggressively defended or
attempted to justify my action. So, essentially, he suggests that for him,
the term means something else.
*2 Within my own experience with myself, I think I usually go silent. I
more than likely will respond if prompted by chatter; but I won’t initiate
conversation. I dummy up.
*3 My philosophical tendency generally bails me out. Since I view
everything that happens as a mirror through which we’re able to see
ourselves. It could be that we have stored psychological debris that needs
to be addressed.
According to Ester of Abraham Hicks, it is our emotional state which puts
us in or keeps us out of the vortex. The vortex is the stream of Universal
energy that ushers in to provide what we need to move forward in
transformational or evolutionary terms.
She/they suggest that when we have impulses to have certain things, the
vortex puts that in escrow for us. So, as time moves forward, situations
may show up that allow us to experience certain emotional states which
would then be a barrier to us getting what we have in ‘escrow.’
Well, her way of ‘languaging’ or stating this perspective is all new to me;
but a good portion of my life I’ve attempted to reflect on occurrences and
attempt to find something to learn from them.
Anyhow, after chewing on a situation that has knocked me off of ‘calm
center’ I can usually resolve the conflict within myself and rejoin
whatever situation I’m involved with without carrying an attitude.
*4 Every situation, every person that we move into circles with have
something to offer; or contrarily we provide that for the other.
*5 They say ‘silence is golden.’ However, it has a broader reference for
me. One of the chakras is represented by gold. Gold also represents
wisdom. So, the act of closing down and seeking to understand the nature
of the rupture reflects that idea.
*6 If I could have thought of a different way to say this, or to rhyme with
free and make it meaningful I would have done it. But it uses the metaphor
of a computer, which I use to capture the fact that as human beings we
write programs and those programs reflect our view. I’m kind of stretching
it though in terms of characterizing a computer as mean; but there again
it’s a metaphor reflecting how we can become hostile/reactive when others
do things to violate the programs we have written.