In the seed farm of a quiet mind
Questions come to bare
Is there a purpose to this life of mine
Would the Universe declare?
The continual germination
Bares fruits of many kinds
With a negative blood factor
Of a humanoid design?
. . . On a spaceship gone astray
From a galaxy beyond
The crash released my spirit
Was the earth it landed on?
Accommodating change
From what I use to be
Walk now among the normal
But a mystery to me
Inside this female replica
A transmitter without wires
Absorbing and releasing
Until my time expires?
. . . A wind-up mouse in many ways
Manufactured to explore
Bumping into this or that
Shift from where I was before
Yet, with the courage of conviction
To ‘hold’ or ‘take’ new ground
‘Allowing,’ the greatest part of me
With ‘resistance’ seldom found
In this chapter of ‘NOW’ approaching
Anticipation lights the path
Hoping one and one is one. . .
As in a ‘special’ kind of math.
I met Thomas on the Internet
My ignorance was the key
Signed up on a ‘Premium Plan’
On a dating site you see
He’d been released sometime back (*1)
As no luck was there for him
Pulled out, left the site
It was my plan that brought him in
My ‘Plan’ allowed Thomas contact
A Premium’ was it
Contact brought an email in (*2)
The ‘Plan’ had brought the perfect fit
Yet, here again, my ignorance
How could I know was he
It took a little time
To bring us both to BE
The problem was, I’d met someone
With my ‘attention’ all ablaze
Didn’t want to fuck it up
So potential fell away
Words contextually of dismissal
Closed it out of hand
But nagging in the background
Had I reached this man?
His email I had copied down
Yet with confusion at my back
“Circled back” as Jen might say (*3)
My clarity to track. . . (*4)
I’d done it right, it was done
But something caught in my mind
A ‘secular humanist’ I focused on
Of the meaning, very blind
Reopened up by curiosity (*5)
“Tell me, what is that?”
An ‘anti-theist’ you might say
Spoke in language I couldn’t track (*6)
“A ‘meat sack’ full of energy
On the earth, not of it”
Strange language that pulled on me
But seductive, I’ll admit
The response was convoluted
But tenacity fueled my moves
“What the hell’s his meaning
Will questions help to prove?
A complex, complicated soul
That called me to his side
Now, has me in his palm
But never as his bride (*7)
A “Power Couple” brought to bare
Within the lifetime left
That’s what lives within intention. . .
Although, we have not met
We parallel each other
Through discourse have discovered
Both anxious for the twenty-ninth (*8)
To meet between the covers
Is he the ‘ONE’ sought after
My soul in silent anticipation
Dialogue has fanned the flames
Extinguishing reservation
Two souls in preparation
A lifetime’s all it took
In preparation for their purpose
Commemorated within a book.
Maturity within the two of us
Will guide us on this path
And take us where we need to go
Or, release us from this math.
8/24/22
4:03 AM – 5:00 AM
(*1) Thomas had cancelled his membership, he had no luck finding women
that had appeal. He had the same problem I was having, running into people
who could not see or understand who he had become.
(*2) Thomas sent me a very short email to let me know he was no longer on
the dating site, but he sent his email address should I want to contact him.
Given the fact that he’d contacted me through the site and me having just
joined again and being ignorant of the different plans, I was somewhat
suspicious. How could he contact me through the site if he wasn’t a member
of it?
But, given my propensity to treat others the way I’d prefer, I wrote down
his email address and let him know that at that point I had been in contact
with someone named John ‘Smith’ and otherwise engaged.
(*3) Referring to Jen Penski, the one who did all the speaking for Biden,
her title or station eludes me.
Jen and Zuckerberg have such a strong resemblance, they seem very
clone-like; but that’s beyond the point of this poem.
(*4) The email that Thomas sent appeared in my gmail account. The chance
of me even opening it up was huge. I have thousands of them that I
ignore. So my answer was given without any remembrance of who I was
contacting.
Because of the sloppy way I’d written the address down, I think I had a
client coming in, so I was rushing to shut things down and get back to work
before having someone hanging over my shoulder. Because of all of that, I
re-entered the site, checked the address and wondered why I had reached out
to him.
I had not remembered his face to be honest, but on this site, they do a
carousel providing pictures to check off if interested. I had gotten to
the point where I only looked at the religious affiliation and ignored
anyone but ‘spiritual.’ While I have a belief is a force within and
without, I was not willing to assign it a label.
My experience has been that those who adopted labels were led to certain
convictions (or judgments) that would not provide the basis for ‘allowing.’
If you did not carry the same system of belief, they’d curtail contact.
That not being a problem except a waste of time, I shifted my choices to
those who might be open enough to receive.
(*5) After going to his profile, noticing he was a ‘secular humanist’ I
wondered, number one, what was that? And had I arbitrarily checked him off
as a possibility because of that. Not even knowing what that was, why
would I have sent him an indication I might be interested. It was a
puzzle, but one I decided to investigate.
My astrological chart has me as a Virgo Rising. Evidently Virgo is a sign
that is all about trying to figure stuff out.
(*6) As smart as I am, I have caverns of ignorance. I was not familiar
with that term either. I had a sense of it, but I didn’t own the
definition.
(*7) In the vastness of my ignorance I’ve come to believe that the
government, in disrupting Social Security to women who were married for 10
years, when their spouses pass, their SS increases. Once remarried, that
causes a decrease. That may not be true, however, if it is, it is a way to
have women who might like to maintain social status within the concept of
morality to turn to whores when entering into an ‘unlawful’ relationship.
The truth is, it seems that a ‘lawful’ relationship, where people are
together under a contract puts a strain on potential. Entering into a
committed relationship has so much more appeal then being chained to
someone in order to secure economic equity.
(*8) August 29th 2022 will be our first opportunity to meet in person,
according to our timeline.
