Advertising Mailers

by | Mar 8, 2021 | Personal

*As the result of collecting junk mail over a period of time, in order to
shred it, instead, decided to write each group a stanza about how I didn’t
want or need what they were offering and let them know they were damaging
ecology by blanketing their papers to get our support. Unfortunately, I
didn’t have any ideas to improve their methods.*

The trees cry out in unison
Not money born to make
Carbon dioxide into oxygen
Humanity’s at stake.

The mail box betrays our culture
Advertisements pouring in
Everyone wants a raise
While the economy’s growing thin.

*Dish* begs renewal
Twenty dollars for twelve months
Two years, the commitment
Fifty five channels for which to hunt

* Xfinity* and *Comcast*
Complete with likened deals
Churning propaganda
As if they’re missing meals

It’s funny to consider
The money that they make
While pimpin’ all their sponsors
With our wallets long at stake

We pay to have delivered
Ads that are prepaid
For things we’d never thought of
Nor sought in our own way.

Distraction what we long for
It’s culturally ingrained
TV does its very best
To answer our refrain.

There are others with a hand out
Hoping we will read
Showing up in our mail box
With agendas for which to plead

*St. Jude* needs a leg up
For children ‘cross the nation
A ticket for a ‘Dream Home
Something tangible for donation

*Planned Parenthood* needs some money
To provide itself a way
To fight legal injustice
Against women is what they say

Twenty to a hundred
Or, write in what you’d like
Credit card, check or money order
Would be a pleasant sight

A decal for your bumper
So others know your view
Might be bad for business
But conversations would ensue

Now,* Doctors without Borders*
Needs our generosity
Thirty five to ‘just’ two hundred
Would help them much indeed

From Syria to Africa
Afghanistan as well
All plagued with their own issues
In detail will not dwell

They depend on my response
As their pictures clearly show
But my Blue Cross just went up
My Social Security just seems to go

A group for *the Public Interest*
From the* Science Center* wrote to me*(2)
They too need donations
If their work is to proceed.

The 2014 Member Drive
Not asking for too much
Twenty would make them happy
They would likewise stay in touch

*Common Cause* made appearance
Three pages with a bill
“We the People,” their invitation
To include me in their mill

An envelope for response
Where postage would be paid
Requests for my assistance
Have turned my hairline gray

Fifty pounds of rice
Twelve dollars is the cost
Food for the Poor Incorporated
Eyes staring back look lost

*Arthritis *Today made a showing
I have, it seems, ‘til May
To order their magazine
And help me mitigate the pain

Ten dollars is the senior rate
Plus I’d get a gift
A Drug Guide to help guide me
And give my life a lift

*Harvard* is concerned for me *(3)
A magazine they make
To free me from dementia
My mind they say at stake

Thirty eight percent a savings
Two gifts they say, to boot
To outline my new diet
And tell me eat more fruit

*Tufts* *(4) writes a* ‘Nutrition Letter’*
And a ‘blacklist’ could receive
If ordered what they publish
Fifteen dollars, I believe

*Amnesty International*
Wrote me from New York
To tell me of abuses
And the countries of report

“A Partner of Conscience” call me
A “program” they conceived
To call forth participation
Again, it is not free

Twenty to a thousand
They’ve raised the anti-up
To rich for this ol’ senior
A pledge I’ll have to duck

A tote bag they would send me
For twenty-five, it seems
Guess it’d work for groceries
Replace plastic, supporting green

Address label plenty
To prime the pump to give
But I need my dimes and nickels
Just to help me live

*Blue Cross* wrote to tell me
Third parties cannot pay
Unless of blood or marriage
I’d like a ‘third’ today*(5)

*Discover* always sends me stuff
Enticing me to charge
A ‘Grand Prize’ awaits for me
For gas purchases done at large

Thousand dollar purchases
Gives thirty I can earn
Guess it helps off-sets my interest
Advancing age has helped me learn

*Globe* communicates tri-monthly
As they seek insure my life
To lessen stress on those I leave
Yet it elevates my strife

Can insure, too, my children
Theirs, as well, it seems
For pennies on the dollar
But only in their dreams*(6)

*Hoveround* comes to call
Through the mail and in the paper
My mobility’s their interest
And use to be their caper *(7)

*The New York Review* of Books
Came the other day
For fourteen ninety seven
They’ll let me have their say

*Capital One* wants my business
‘Designed’ with me in mind
One percent free of interest
Twenty-two point nine behind

*The Week, The Nation*, and* Yes*
Think we are a fit
Reduce their prices for me
As low as they will get

*SunSetters*, selling awnings
*Publishers Clearing [House]* selling stuff
*Democrats* write, campaigning
Say Republicans are playing rough

The junk mail, unsolicited
Makes me feel real bad
Thinking of the trees that died
As the ‘ice-bergs tip’ real sad.


I shared with a friend that I had written an 8 page poem about the wasted
trees cut down to send out massive amounts of junk mail, and the fact that
I sent the poem to everyone I included. His response, what about the 8
pages you just used? I guess it’s true, “what comes around, goes around.”
However, I don’t get as much targeted junkmail anymore.

Reading the last line in about the icebergs, in addition to the poem
alluding to needing the trees to off-set the carbon, it’s obvious I was
buying into the argument about climate change that the globalists were
putting out..

The other thing about getting requests for money in the mail, scammers use
the phone regularly, do they not use the mail also?


*(1) I got rid of footnote 1, it had personal information in it that is no
longer true.

*(2) The actual name of the organization is Center for Science in the
Public Interest

*(3) Harvard Medical School

*(4) Tufts University

*(5) Who wouldn’t like a third party to pay for their insurance?

*(6) In Globe’s dreams

*(7) I’m not sure of the veracity of the claims; but I heard that Hoveround
was called on the carpet for a time by the government [Medicare]. I’m not
sure about the rumor; but it had something to do with how they qualified
people. That’s the innuendo in referring to the ‘caper’.

Linda Brady

Linda Brady

Grandma Linda is a squigily peg in a square hole. Her poetry is aimed at moving the world to love, unity and perfect margaritas. And after years of perfecting the art, she has the skill to paint a better world and make it so.

When she is not serving customers, gazing at rocks, or visiting her grandchildren Linda is writing poetry. And even during all the above activities she has been known to write still.

– Zackary (self proclaimed “Favorite Grandson”)